Lisa’s Annual Oscar Commentary
The 82nd Annual Academy Awards
Double the best picture nominees, double the hosts, half the fun. What a waste of talent. One of the longest, dullest, and unfunny Oscar ceremonies in years. The opening number with Neil Patrick Harris with the Vegas-ish showgirls was reminiscent of the worst opening in Oscar history - Rob Lowe dancing with Snow White. Why didn’t Steve and Alec do the opening? Were they paid by the minute? They both work harder when they host Saturday Night Live. A total of twenty-two minutes on stage and none of it was memorable.
Fortunately, people will remember Kathryn Bigelow becoming the first woman to win the best director Oscar. People will remember The Hurt Locker winning the best picture Oscar and Jeff Bridges finally getting the recognition he deserves for the role of a lifetime. People may remember a few heartfelt but imperfect speeches like Mo’Nique’s and Sandra Bullock’s and the brat pack tribute to John Hughes. And people will certainly remember James Cameron not winning for Avatar.
Adam Shankman, the producer of the show this year, should really stick to choreography – it’s what he does best and is probably why the dance number to the musical scores was the show’s highlight. Opening the show with all the lead actor nominees on stage not only felt like a strange trip to Madame Tussaud’s wax museum but communicated that Oscar celebrates actors, when in fact, Oscar celebrates all aspects of filmmaking. There were very few funny scripted moments. Ben Stiller redeemed himself from past years, and Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. had the funniest exchange of the night in presenting the best screenplay Oscar to Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker. Shankman seemed like he was operating on a very cheap budget. Only a lack of funds could explain the missed opportunities such as shooting some green screen fun with Alec and Steve, or providing some fun costume changes for them throughout the show. Five seconds of Steve in a Hasmat suit or Alec Baldwin in a football uniform could have gone a long way. Oh well, at least the red carpet was exciting.
Lots of interesting fashion trends on the red carpet this year: architectural tops, big skirts with lots of fabric from the hip down - particularly from one hip, crisscrossing and/or ruching around bodice and waist, blush and metallic tones, and iridescence. Who did it well? Jennifer Lopez captured the look of the night with her usual fashion forward elegance – Armani Prive voluminous, iridescent, pale pink, with the architectural stiff top and lots of flowing fabric from the hip…and her hair and makeup was flawless. Rachel McAdams was also one of the best of the night in an interesting subtle print dress with the crisscross bodice and voluminous skirt. Vera Farmiga almost got it right in hot pink Marchesa – a little too voluminous with all those architectural ruffles but at least anyone standing next to her looked boring. Also in Armani Prive, Amanda Seyfried almost got it right but the pale iridescent fabric was too voluminous for her frame and her age – just too much dress.
The one who got it all right and was the “Best Dressed” of the night was Demi Moore. Everything was on trend – the strapless, crisscrossed bodice, and the ruffles below the hip, but the color was a little deeper and perfect with her coloring and she actually appears to be getting younger. Her hair wasn’t special, but it was shiny and sleek enough to balance the ruffles and her makeup was flawless. Bravo Demi.
Others looked beautiful but weren’t as fashion forward. Sandra Bullock followed the advice of my previous years – if you want to win an Oscar, dress like one. The shiny sleek gold Marchesa dress was elegant and statuesque. Her lipstick was a little too bright, but she looked like a winner. Helen Mirren, Kate Winslet, Queen Latifah, and Anna Kendrick all looked beautiful and wore the right gowns for their ages and figures. Cameron Diaz never looked better – usually I comment that her hair looks stringy and she looks like she had sex in the limo on the way to the show – but this year, she got it together, got a few hair extensions, but not too much, and looked elegant. Meryl Streep looked beautiful in white, but that long sleeve boring gown designed by Chris March, the Project Runway loser, was far from fashion forward. And Sarah Jessica Parker in Chanel Couture and ten pounds of piled up hair extensions made a statement all of her own. Many will not like that look because it wasn’t figure-flattering, but it was luxurious, elegant, captivating, and memorable. We’ll be seeing photographs of her in that dress for years to come.
Others tried to be fashionable, but failed miserably. There were many. Mariah Carry almost never manages to find a tasteful gown for the evening. Sigourney Weaver looked like a six foot wrapped Christmas present. Charlize Theron wore two giant roses on her boobs – did anyone notice anything else? Miley Cyrus will never look good in any gown until she improves her posture. Molly Ringwald was frightful. Tina Fey, in Michael Kors, looked like she was wearing a dress made from her grandmother’s head scarf. How is it possible that such a thin, attractive, and smart woman could look so consistently terrible on the red carpet? Suzy Amis looked anorexic in “Navi” blue. With all his money, can’t James Cameron buy her a burger? But the “Worst Dressed” of the night was Zoe Saldano. She is so beautiful and tried so hard to be a fashionista but that dress looked like four dresses collided to make one giant multi-colored, multi-layered, multi-textured, arts and crafts explosion. Vegas showgirl on the top and southern belle on the bottom, that dress was a disaster. Nonetheless, she was memorable and her photograph will certainly appear in every magazine which is good since her face (in human form) did not appear once in Avatar.
The men were less interesting this year. Mostly they all looked great. The black shirts were out and crisp white shirts and blackest of black tuxedos were in. Some of the young Hollywood guys captured the look - lean tuxedos with single button closure, narrow peaked or shawl collars, and skinny black ties, and classic bowties. Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Gerard Butler, Neil Patrick Harris, and Colin Firth all got the young lean tux look right. Lenny Kravitz also looked incredibly sharp. Ryan Reynolds took the more classic tuxedo approach along with Matt Damon and George Clooney. The “Best Dressed” man of the night was an obvious choice – Tom Ford. Wearing his own blackest of black tuxedos, perfectly fit, with black studs, the shiniest silk hand-tied bowtie, and a perfectly groomed beard, Tom Ford was elegance personified.
Other men tried but didn’t quite get it right. Jason Bateman’s tuxedo jacket was too long and out dated. Stanley Tucci’s lapels were too wide for his bald head. Keanu wore a perfectly fitting tux, but his beard was unruly. Robert Downey Jr. wore a ridiculous blue bowtie – was he supporting Avatar? Jason Reitman’s tux was too big, his tie was too wide, and his beard and hair were not groomed. Jason should have been the “Worst Dressed” man, but I will give that award to Oscar Producer Adam Shankman because not only did he not have the good taste to put forth a great award show with all the talent he was given, but he wore a tacky striped tuxedo and paraded down the carpet as if he looked great.
Sometimes old-fashioned is classic, and sometimes it’s just old. Old jokes, old song and dance bits, and old technology. If it weren’t for the fashion, the 82nd Annual Academy Awards looked like it could have taken place fifty years ago. Oscar may be classic, but every year brings new films and new awards, and hopefully new surprises. No surprises this year. Maybe next…
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